Stress test

Poem
by Joe Brainard

Sometimes
everything
seems
so
oh, I don’t know.

 

So where to start? September has been crazy – but a good kind of crazy, atleast. Everything is happening all at once and still no end is in sight. To give you a visualization, it’s not a light at the end of the tunnel kind but spotlights, floodlights and disco lights all over – which makes me  think do these lights want to guide mo or do they want me blind?

But the good thing is I am learning – in more ways than one.

I am learning about myself. I’ve always been a laidback person. I don’t like stressing myself out. I don’t like going the extra mile – unless we’re talking about vacations here. Then again, I don’t like sweating that much when traveling. Since I have no choice this time, I found out I’m on PMS mode when stressed. I get easily agitated and my impatience becomes more noticeable. (I’ve always been impatient, except that there’s no reason to be impatient more often than not.) Good thing my loved ones get me so I don’t have to explain or defend myself. 🙂

I stress-shop. Instead of going through a stress-eating binge (oh but I do that too), I go on a shopping trip. I find the need to reward myself, hoping I’d feel less aggravated. Basically, I try to bribe myself to be more happy than I can really afford. I tend to gravitate towards dresses – thankful that I’m not lusting over pretty shoes.

I want to get high on sugar. I pack my bags and fill them with chocolates. Funny how I don’t eat them. I just want to make sure I have some in stock in case I run out of food to eat. I also tend to visit the convenience store more often than usual stocking on anything that’s sweet. Which reminds me…I still have a bar of Cadbury Flake from my aunt who flew in from New Zealand.

But I digress.

There’s still half a month left. I wonder what else I would find out about myself? 🙂

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