Bizarre Love Affair

Jul 25, ’08
I’m not in love

I’ve been meaning to fall.

 

Jun 17, ’09
Makati love
Almost exactly a year ago, I had a hard time making myself fall in love with this concrete city. I couldn’t push myself to call it my home. I just couldn’t see through the cold concrete streets and the towering skyscrapers.

Thankfully, my good neighbor has brought in wi-fi to my condo-living life.

Nah, just kidding. I mean that’s not the reason I’ve grown to love this city. I don’t love love it. But I’m doing fine – better than how I was feeling almost a year ago. I guess the city has grown on me – what, with the brisk walking just so I wouldn’t be late for work (again), the quick trips to the convenience stores, the lovely Sunday market, the regular fast food hopping, the uncontrollable backyard malling… now, who could resist that?!

I’ve found it convenient, to say the most. I guess that’s the kind of “love” I’m referring to. Sometimes, convenience is king.

 

June 19, ’11
Bedroom city

I feel most awful that I’ve turned Makati into merely my bedroom. Now that I’m working in Ortigas, I shuffle back and forth Makati only to sleep in it. I barely have the energy to absorb Ayala’s brightly lit hallway. I miss taking my time as I walk along Paseo de Roxas with thoughts running through my head. I miss having a most spontaneous rendezvous with my most favorite city in the metro.

I feel guilty for betraying it, for taking too much time in another place, for forgetting that Makati is not merely a place to sleep in – it used to be my playground. And it still is. It’s just that I never pay it much attention, give it more time.

And for that, I am deeply sorry.

I won’t say please. I’m not begging you, I’m telling you: take me back.

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